The Raging Elephant
My senator is 78

I’m almost 36 and I’m already looking forward to retirement. This jerkoff in Washington is 13 years PAST retirement age, and he’s running again!

I’m sorry, but this tells me one of two things:

1) That being a senator is SO EASY that he sees no difference between being a sitting senator, and being retired, except he’d lose all the benefits associated with the job.

2) That the benefits and rewards associated with being a senator is so good that he can’t bear to quit.

Either way, I can’t think of a single reason why a man that has already reached the upper limits of the human lifespan would want to CONTINUE “working”. I don’t care how much you love your job.

There should be term limits and laws that if you ever worked in government as an elected official, you are barred from holding any job that works for or with the government in any way.

In other words, get in, get out.

Lady at the drive-through window just called me “Hun”

And that’s awesome! Made me feel good, and kinda made me feel like I was back with my family in Alabama.

Most people here don’t know or use that word.

What’s with all this “Exempt list” crap?

I’d like to get paid and not have to work too!

Maybe if I beat my wife my company will give me so e time off work too.


Why the hell do people make fun of “white people’s lips” for being thin, as if it’s a bad thing? Huge lips aren’t exactly something I want to kiss. 

I saw a woman the other day who had so much collagen in her lips it looked like she was kissing a pane if glass. Disgusting.


Defence: Planning A Home Invasion

There has been no denying that in the UK the influx of immigrants at the Port of Calais in France has turned to violence to get across the channel. In the UK itself the more open borders have left an influx of immigrants from the Eastern block turning to crime to survive. Home invasion with violence has increased with innocent people being threatened with weaponry and safe in the knowledge that very few people in the UK own firearms. (Punish the innocent, UK ethics at its best, everyone should have the right to arms no matter what country you live in)

The right to carry on the street is limited to a knife that is non locking and below three inches on the blade length. No other method of defence can be utilised, so carry when in the UK is at best a token gesture and at discretion. The carry of batons, mace, CS, pepper or even a taser is not permitted.You are expected to call law enforcement, or hope that some one else will.

I had a quick rummage through my bags and grabbed a few interesting carry options where the law permits. I wanted to look at what options are available.

The tactical pen: This style of self defence tool is popular. They can be effective but only if you train with them and are confident with them. From experience, most people who have them forget they have them when it matters most, or simply carry them in deep pockets or a purse so deep they would have to rummage for some time to find the very thing that can help them.

Kubotan: Made traditionally from bamboo this is the fore runner of the above tactical pen. The above is trying to hide as something else in plain sight and to bypass laws in some countries. Once again, anyone who has trained with one is very quick and can land some serious injuries. Typically found with a keyring attachment they can be made from aluminium, steel, bamboo as mentioned or as shown here from a high impact reinforced resin.

Ventilator: This is a new take on an old tool using modern technology to present something insanely strong and in use truly devastating. The carbon fibre is strong, light and the point buries itself deep. This is the kind of tool you use when you have too and know full well that the outcome is predetermined. If it has come down to the wire and you have to use it, the adage “Judged By 12 is Better Than Carried By 6”

Tactical Knife: Shown here by the Extrema Ratio Nemesis, folding knives are designed and produced to offer self defence. In many countries they are not permitted, but those that do permit a locking knife the potential for a serious tool should be considered. Many have features to assist in the opening to save vital seconds when it counts and the best advice is to try a lot of knives in a store and then find that model online at the best price.

Improvising A Solution.

There are times when the above are not permitted. So looking around you or your kit bag can present some interesting items to act as a tool to offer distance to an attacker.

Karabiner: Climbing tool, great for ropes and strong. Use one as a set of brass knuckles and the impact can be a game changer. Grip the tightened screw gate in your fist and plant the metal that sticks out into the attacker. The metal is strong and light but deliver it to sensitive areas and you have all you need to defend yourself.

oscardelta Go Tube: There is a reason this one is taped at the top and has a longer cord than normal. Use it like a flail and hit for the face, hands and other sensitive areas. The carbon fibre is strong so won’t break but delivers a real hard hit to the body. Even a hit on the forehead is enough to leave a large swelling and make someone think twice. I epoxied the top onto the tube and taped for added strength. You can even grip the tube and use the bottom as an impact weapon to drive into large muscle groups.

Pens: The humble sharpie, the mainstay of offices the world over and of course cheap. The material these are made from is incredibly strong. Use it like a kubotan and aim for face, temple, chest, hands or large muscle groups. The pain can be truly debilitating.

I found a large collection of tools that could be used to defend a person on the street or from home entry all over the house. There is no better time to plan having items near for defence like now while you think about it. A notepad and pen near the front door, perhaps by the phone looks innocent. If a problem arises you know where it is. Train with it, test it on a phone book or a catalogue and put some faith into it. You can adapt the same sort of principles to a vehicle. The most important part of any plan is having everyone in the family involved and aware of it. Practice what can happen and get everyone involved in that plan. Even if your children pick up the phone to call the emergency services while you deal with the problem. Not every country sadly, permits a firearm to defend yourself. Countries like the UK give greater protection by law to those who break into homes!

It’s the responsibility of everyone to be able to defend their home, workplace, vehicle and family. Not all countries permit the same methods of doing so. Finding alternatives, training and being confident in those methods is a must. Be safe, keep your family safe where ever you are.

Tactical umbrella? We are talking about Britain here…

John Steed used it to great effect.

Damn right we do!

Damn right we do!

I’m triggered by the existence of liberals.


There are people on Tumblr who actually think living without money is possible, and preferable.

I weep for the world.

Who needs money if have skills or goods you can barter?

Just kidding.